What's hot and what's not in 2024

Fine, I'll bite.

In

• Shrugging and smirking at confrontation & uncomfortable topics like Carrie Bradshaw 

• Girls trips

• Extremely animated voice notes 

• Optimum points 

• Making new friends 

• Calling your grandparents 

• Being embarrassingly earnest 

• Botox 

• Growing out pit hair 

• “Checking in”

• “What are you reading right now?”

• Do Not Disturb

• Horny press tours

• Horny books

• Actually texting when you get home 

• boy genius covers of Shania Twain

• The occasional cigarette 

• Being a patron of the arts 

• Not giving into the hype!!!!!

• Cleavage

• Cellulite

• Getting into bed in a luxurious pj set and using hand cream on your nightstand like a woman who’s definitely harbouring a big secret 

• Watching two hours of Trixie & Katya videos, nightly 

• Looking like shit sometimes

• Cooking elaborate meals 

• Group chats dedicated to recipe sharing

• Diet Coke culture 

• Cable 

• Ssense sales

• Huge underwear 

• Being nosy 

• Being a “regular” 

• Laying in bed with your friends 

• Every guilty pleasure you can think of 

• Long hugs on the street

• Being mysterious but not annoying about it

• Generous foreplay

• Whatever Meredith Marks is on

Oh, to be her. (Meredith Marks in the tub, Real Housewives on Salt Lake City)

Out

• Celebrity booze brands 

• Celebrity weed brands 

• Any celebrity brand except for Rare Beauty, she can stay

• When your earring backing comes loose, so you end up losing your whole earring and spending an inordinate amount of time crawling on the ground with your phone light looking for it

• Aritzia

• Thinking a turtleneck was a good idea

• Duty on packages 

• Not immediately falling head over heels in love with my dog when you meet her 

• Micro-bladed eyebrows 

• Instagram restaurants 

• Instagram furniture companies 

• Food delivery apps 

• Screen time reports

• Overintellectualized culture writing that says absolutely nothing

• Overachieving accomplished people pretending to be lazy online (as a bit?)

• Actors drinking out of empty cups 

• Credit card debt

• Taxes

• Over indulgent therapy speak 

• Shaming Amazon users 

• Being a little bitch about caffeine 

• Lisa Barlow’s glam team 

• Being a hater unless it’s about things I hate too

• When my husband says “what did you order?”

• Being prudish about sex

• Airplane travel 

• Forgetting to cancel your free trial 

• And I’m sorry to my girls but…Apple watches